What's up with that Jesus guy, anyway?

So here I am.  Being at work.  Doing work things (like listening to songs about superheroes and thinking about what my sweet Halloween movie marathon is going to include.  Current thoughts?  Originals/Remake double features.  Halloween, Nightmare, Friday the 13th.  Chainsaw Massacre?  If there's time.  I'd consider House of Wax, but have you actually watched the travesty that is the Paris Hilton version?  I wanted to vomit my eyes at the screen so that the filmmakers would have to taste the ocular jelly of my distaste.  Live with that sentence).  Naturally I start thinking about Yom Kippur, which is today for those of you who don't know.

Almost made the whole thing worth it.  Almost.

I am not (to some people's vast disappointment) Jewish.  It's ok, I've made peace with that long ago.  With the help of my therapist and the ability to eat meat and dairy at the same time without fear of damnation I have soldiered on.  Kippur thoughts led me to think about Lent, followed generally about the theory of institutional penitence.  During my vague wonderings I came across a comment on CNN and couldn't tell if it was brilliant satire or an honest belief.  Someone, in response to the question "what do you atone for?"  responded by saying "I don't need to atone for anything.  Jesus Christ has already atoned for every bad thing I have ever done or ever will."

Look, I'm all for folk believing that Jesus Christ did his thing to "take away the sins of the world" (those aren't sarcasm quotes.  those are quote quotes.  People say that at church.  Sometimes in the form of catchy songs in four-four time) but can you really, honestly say that you have never done anything wrong because 2,000 years ago a walking man/god hybrid did something to help symbolically cleanse sin from the planet?  I don't think it works like that. Maybe it would if we were talking about the Endless Calm and finally "Defeating Sin" or otherwise attempting to shoehorn a Final Fantasy X reference into the conversation. We're not doing that, though, so if you do believe that what are the limits?

I just shot this dude, but it's cool.  Jesus says I don't have anything to feel bad about.  Because he made it, like, preemptively cool for me to do some murders.  Sure, Your Honor, I engaged in a little bit of light genocide with a side order of racial cleansing (not always the same thing, people).  Do I feel bad?  What kinda hippy crap is that?  Why would I?  Work to change?  Heck no, Your Honor.  My boy J-dubs says we're all cool and the gang over here.

You know who says crap like that?  Psycopaths.  Sometimes people do bad things, and you know what?  You ought to feel ashamed of them and let that shame make you a better person.  I think that (please note: I am not myself religious and you may completely ignore my opinion as being ill-informed if you'd like) religions, any of them, are at their best when they attempt to ennoble the human spirit.  To cause people to strive to do good and to be better.  Whether it's because they want to emulate someone they really think was groovy back in the day or even if it's the more mercenary thought of being rewarded for being sweet as hell here on Earth.  Whatever the motivation, it can be a positive, uplifting factor.

Then there are people who just do it wrong and use it as an excuse for every ridiculous behavior they can think of.  Sadly, these people tend to be the loudest.

Alright - I'm done now.  For now, anyway.  Because I'm at work and should be doing work things. I'm sorry, I didn't even really try to make with the funny this morning.  I told you that would happen sometimes.  This is one of my rants.  Now you too have experienced it.  tell your friends. Or don't.  Since, you know, it's a secret and whatnot.  Either way.  Maybe tomorrow will be more chuckletastic.  You might even have a chucklegasm.  If you're lucky, and somewhat patient. 

Chuckling is a tender though demanding lover.