Demographic sweet spot, here I come.

So...if this is your first time here (and unless you're me or super-stalking me it should be.  And I mean, like crazy super stalking.  Invisible Elves who live in my office at work level of stalking.  If you are an invisible Elf currently standing over my shoulder while I write this, I commend you for your dedication to the arts of stealth...and also for the sweet, somewhat mysterious until now hint of mint and juniper that you bring to my office each day.  Carry on.) I feel like we should get down to the brassiest of brass tacks.  That is to say to let you know something about me other than my burgeoning magic-information-box celebrity and bottomless love of asides.  Also, steak fries.  That's another thing I love.  They can also be bottomless, if you play your cards right.  Full circle.

If you made it through that and are still with us, thank you.  As the title of this piece probably will let you know, we're about to get all demographic in this bitch.  (The kids still say that, right?)  Things to know about Markatoa, in no particular order.  He:

• Is a 33 year old white male
• Lives somewhere in the Northeastern United States of America
• Is married to a lovely young lady (sorry, internet womens.  All this is already off the market)
• Rents a house with a unique and hilarious cast of housemates.
• Subscribes to no particular religion.
• Disbelieves in the American Two-Party system.
• Needs no more pancakes.

Why did I feel the need to mention these things?  I'm not really sure.  Because I was feeling prolific?  Because there was nothing else to do except write more things on the internet while convincing the invisible elf that I never knew he was here before now?

Mostly I think it's because the absolute amount of pandering that the world (ie America) does to the 18-45 year old White Male crowd is out of control.  But at the same time, the whole marketing world is out for dollars.  And white dudes in that age range generally have the most purchasing power.  I don't really think that's terribly fair, but it's a truth and I can understand it.  I suppose the thing that makes me sad to think about is that there exists this idea of a "Normal/Majority America" and a whole bunch of tiny "Latino America"s and "Black America"s and South Korean and so on and so on.

The beautiful thing about being an American in my mind has always been that it's aspirational when you get right down to it.  Anyone can become American by loving the sort of things that have made our country what it is (and, you know with a sponsor and spending a few grand).  Taking the idea of that and then fracturing it into tiny pieces that are designed to fit only specific segments makes me feel like we did something wrong somewhere along the way.  I don't know what, and I don't know how to fix it on any sort of level other than trying to make sure that my future kids see Americans and not some nebulous "other" folk who happen to live here.  If I had a) law degree, b) a fuller understanding of the ins and outs of the legislative process  and c) infinite money, I would totally lose a race to become our next President in four years.  Not because I don't believe in things, but because I would be a terrible President and no one would vote for me.  Rightly so.

Alright...I was trying to make some sort of joke about how my life rules, especially compared to megabit plebians who don't have their own blogs (or as I like to call them...no one,ever, in the entire world) and instead I got dangerously close to a serious topic.  But you see, that's the magic of the internet - you never know what you're going to get.