The Whole Damned System's Out of Order!

...now, I know what you're thinking.  How?  That's easy (and would already be answered for you if you've read some of my earlier ramblings.  God, Anderson.  Do your research!) - I can read your brain like a finely peeled orange.  I can't really effectively use simile nor metaphor as the above sentence clearly shows, but I can pierce your mind's armor and enjoy the squishy bits inside.  And brothers and sisters, your brains are some messed up places.  After all, why else would your brain armor look like this?

 Because...we...think with our stomachs?

Anyway - that all said, I know what you're thinking.  The answer is "no"  Which means that you're in luck because this will not be devolving into some passionate yet ill-informed rant about something involving the American Justice System.  Although if it was that I could set it to a hard rock sound track and call it the Injustice System.  (Bam! Protest.).  Really the title and the preceding paragraphs are brought to you by the fact that the original title and subsequent jokes were way too involved and would have required a deep study of Markatoan philosophy and social customs to get through.  None of us want you to understand me that well.  Especially you.  Thank Ladytoa for her patience and dedication to the sacred duty of not letting my ideas spread too far outside of my own home.  (Little does she know that the internet lets me channel these things to innocent minds everywhere.)

The problem with all that build up is that now what could have been considered the point has gotten old in my brain and died a natural death.  Don't be sad, the idea is much happier now and in a better place.  At least in a place where it doesn't have catheters "gumming up the works" as it were (the works are its privates).  

Since I've driven my stake deep (hey-oooo!) into this particular bit of the Googloid Empire(tm) I think that it's only fitting that I address a great injustice in the world.  Or at least the world of people watching American Football (that world limited mostly, one would imagine, to the United States.  Possibly some areas in Western Canada.) - the Super Bowl.

Who got to name that one, huh guys?  While it might be accurately described as "The Championship Bowl" or the "Overhyped and Prone to Hyperbole Bowl" is there really anything "Super" about it?  I've yet to see an army of Moloids break through at the line of scrimmage (for our foreign readers the Line of Scrimmage is a lot like the Maginot Line, but more effective) and start taking hostages while demanding reparations from "Evil, Short-Sighted Topsiders"

I've never seen the game played while surrounded by skyscrapers so that Spider-Man could swing on through and amaze everyone with his witty banter, aerial maneuvers and tragically complicated personal life.

"The one thing I could never punch - Old Age" 

Now, really - there are zero super powered athletes involved in any of the sporting that happens beforehand, and I can understand that.  Those games are even referred to as the Regular Season.  One has to imagine because it involves Regular Athletes.  Therefore it only makes sense for the Super bowl to involve at least one Superperson per team.  Maybe hold a draft of them shortly before the game.  And then have the Commissioner rearrange the fields so that the powers and weaknesses of the Supers involved can be exploited for the entertainment of the crowds.

Like one side gets Superman and the other side gets Martian Manhunter?  Make it so that each team has randomly assigned Kryptonite equipment and maybe the endzones and yardlines have pyrotechnics built in to them to shoot gouts of flame.  Again, at random so that he couldn't mind read people and prepare for it.

Yeah...I'd watch the heck out of that game.  I'd watch the heck out of it so hard it would need to call its sponsor and admit a relapse.

II'm sure that there are those amongst the internet that will stridently disagree with me.  That's fine.  They're allowed to be wrong.  Or to convince me of the awesomtude of Sports!  Until then, enjoy your "Entirely Normal, But Still Final Game of the Season; Determining Who Gets Awarded a Trophy and Nebulous Recognition Bowl."  Yeah.  Enjoy that.